Came in from mowing the lawn last night to find the Twins down 8-3 to the Royals at the end of the 8th. I noted, without even a hint of irony (:-P) that all we needed was a couple of singles and a homer to tie it up. Ramon Ramirez, the Royals mop-up reliever, is pitching. Cuddyer comes up first and strikes out. He’s really stinking it up this year, given that he now makes $12 million a season. Anyway, Kubel bats next and hits a single. Next is Delmon “Iron Man” Young, the guy with the longest active consecutive games-played streak in MLB. A streak which should come to an end tonight because Young stinks too. Matt Garza (whom we traded for Young) had 10 strikeouts yesterday, by the way.

Anyway, the Iron Man predictably struck out, capping off an 0-3, 3-error night for him. There was a wild pitch somewhere in that at-bat, which put Kubel on second. At this point it’s 8-3 Royals with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and I’m ready to write off another game to the inconsistency of a mediocre team. The Fangraphs.com game log has the Royals Win Expectancy at 99.8. In other words, teams that are ahead 8-3 with two outs in the ninth inning win 99.8 percent of the time.

Mike Lamb - who is playing well as of late - comes in and singles to center, scoring Kubel. Good for him, but it’s garbage time against the Royals’ mop-up man and a loose defense. 8-4 Royals. Next is Brendan Harris, the #9 hitter and a disappointment at the plate so far this year. Single. First and second, two outs. I actually yelled at Lamb for only getting to second on the Harris single - why wasn’t he running with two out? Is he actually that slow?

So Gomez comes to the plate, and I’m thinking it’s over. The guy is fun to watch, but he’s an out machine. Wrong. Gomez hits one up the middle, scoring Lamb. 8-5 Royals.

It’s around this point that Dick Bremer mentions that Soria, the Royals nasty, unhittable closer, is unavailable because he pitched two innings in the 12-inning game on Tuesday night. In comes Joel Peralta to face Craig Monroe, who is pinch-hitting for Alexi Casilla. It’s worth noting that Ramon Ramirez has a 30.4% fly ball rate, and has struck out the first two batters in the inning. Peralta has a 46.6% fly ball rate and a 20% home run / fly ball rate. What the Royals manager was thinking here, I’m not sure.

Monroe takes three bad pitches from Peralta. The fourth pitch he inexplicably swings at and fouls off. It came out after the game that Monroe missed the take sign. He swings at the 3-1 and misses it. Pitch number 5 is an absolute cookie, and Monroe crushed it. I jump off the couch. Wife jumps off the couch. There’s a collective gasp from the assembled at Kauffman Stadium, as if someone’s just kicked them between the legs. Of course, being a Royals fan is sort of like being repeatedly kicked between the legs, so I guess they’re used to it.

Jesse Crain slammed the door in the bottom of the ninth, and Justin Morneau unloaded on Peralta’s first pitch of the tenth, sending it over the fence in right. In comes Joe Nathan, the Royals can’t touch him. Ballgame.

The Twins pulled off a feat that only happens once per 500 occurrences. Down 8-3 in the bottom of the ninth with two outs, teams win only 0.02% of the time. But there it was. That’s why baseball is the greatest game ever.